My Testimony

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am, because I need to know 
You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don’t belong, oh You say that I am Yours
And I believe, oh I believe 
What You say of me 
I believe
The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity
Written by: Lauren Daigle,
contemporary Christian music singer and songwriter

Once upon a time there was a  little girl.  She was 5 years old and that year was one that had her growing up very fast.  This girl had a doting daddy, who went to work to make a life for her and her sister and mother.  This girl had a neglectful mother, who spent her time drinking and entertaining men, who were not her daddy.

But God was watching over her.

Sometimes she was hungry.  Once she was sent to the corner store to buy bread, but before she got home, she ate a couple of slices and hoped her mother didn’t notice, because that meant several slaps across the head.

 

But God was watching over her.

The slapping happened for other small incidental things that a child might do that got under her mother’s skin.  She was always being told to get out and don’t come in!  Once she was locked in a closet until her father came home to find her.  Many times she and her sister would just sit and rock, because mother was passed out.

But God was watching over her.

Sunday school was important, and every Sunday she would go to a little hall around the corner.  One Sunday after coming home she was asked about who she wanted to be with her mother or her father.  She chose her father.  She was then taken with a brown paper bag of her clothes and things to her Grandparents house where she stayed.  Her father later joining them.

God provided for them both.

As she grew and went to public, elementary and high school, she became very withdrawn.  She would hide under the stairwells and eat her lunch.  She cried a lot.  She didn’t have much self-worth.  She once wanted to die.  She tried hard with her academics but just remained average, even through high school and college.

Her daddy died and so did she, for many years she cried.  Somehow through her young adult life she stumbled.  She knew the ways she should go, but sometimes she didn’t always go that way.  She felt lost.

But God still watched over her.

 

Many times she over the course of her life she just felt worthless.  Why was she here?  What was her purpose?  Would she find someone who really loved her and wanted her to be in his life?  Yes, she eventually did!  He was a God fearing man from a God fearing family…just like Grandma was.  She felt she was finally home once again.

God was watching and blessed them.

She had given her life to Jesus many years ago.  And she had strayed a few times.  But one day she really realized just how blessed she was.  How all she had been through and all she had been given…she was blessed indeed.  So she once again renewed herself to her Lord and calm and peace came to dwell within and her self-worth began to take a new life, a more deeper heartfelt love for her Lord.  God gave her purpose.  Now through this little ministry she is telling others of His love for them.

I am no longer the same little girl.  Although there are times when self-worth creeps in.  Yet I know that I am loved by Someone who died to know me.  He keeps me always.  When I need help I call on Him and He comes.  I renew myself each day now.  I am not wayward, but in my weaknesses, I am made strong by Jesus who loves me.  He rescued me from things that I can’t imagine where I would be now.

Besides the song above “You Say” and this song below “My Worth”, I can truly say this sums up my testimony.

 

My worth is not in what I own
Not in the strength of flesh and bone
But in the costly wounds of love
At the cross
My worth is not in skill or name
In win or lose, in pride or shame
But in the blood of Christ that flowed
At the cross
I rejoice in my Redeemer
Greatest Treasure,
Wellspring of my soul
I will trust in Him, no other.
My soul is satisfied in Him alone.
As summer flowers we fade and die
Fame, youth and beauty hurry by
But life eternal calls to us
At the cross
I will not boast in wealth or might
Or human wisdom’s fleeting light
But I will boast in knowing Christ
At the cross
Two wonders here that I confess
My worth and my unworthiness
My value fixed – my ransom paid
At the cross

 

Keith & Kristyn Getty are a Northern Irish Christian duo

 

“Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself  (Jesus) has said,

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.”   Hebrews 13:5 

and He never has!!